How do you make sure that within the sea of motherly duties, and the fun and educational universe you have to create for your child to enchant him and further his development, you don’t drown out your own creative longings and aspirations.
I have always tried to focus on knowing what I want from life, from those around me and from myself. This pattern of behaviour/awareness has been what has kept me from losing my mind at times. First and foremost, I have to honour myself, and then my marriage and child. Zia listens to our music [he frankly doesn’t even like “children's” music], we don’t let him watch barney or elmo or any TV actually, and since day 4, I have taken him with me everywhere. If I don’t feel like going to the park and chatting with random parents, I take him to the forest and he gets the same opportunity to get his energy out, but in a way where I am also being recharged as opposed to drained...Things like that.
This is kind of a tangent, but I remember being so hesitant to have a child a couple of years before I got pregnant with Zia. I am so fiercely independent and I need to feel free. I know that sounds intense, but I was mortified of the idea of marriage or children holding me down or back. I love my husband so much because he gets that about me and has never questioned it, or challenged it, he has always just celebrated me in that way, and for that I am so deeply grateful. But I know I needed a partner with whom I could just take off by myself for a trip if I wanted to, solo. It’s nothing against my husband - and now my son - I just need it to stay sane and grounded; I always have.